If you've just started your exploration journey, as a beginner, you're bound to make mistakes when purchasing a sex toy. And no one can blame you for that. Anal plug or prostate massager, don't they all do the same thing? Pleasure-wise, yes. The degree of pleasure will depend on you and how you choose to use either. However, when it comes down to functionality, that's a whole different situation. In this article, we'll look at some of the key differences, how to use them and what to watch out for.
Let’s begin by defining the two
An anal plug, also known as a butt plug, is basically a sex toy that goes into the anus. You’ll know a plug when you see the shape. It starts very wide at the bottom then continues upwards significantly narrowed. The shape is strategic as you don't want it to go further in. During the sexual encounter, the toy remains in place for stimulation internally. It doesn't really focus on one part of the anus per se when compared to the prostate massager; it stimulates all the internal parts it comes to contact with.
From the name, you can tell what part this sex toy focuses on; the prostate. Usually, these toys are designed, curved rather, in a way that comes into contact with the prostate. It concentrates on stimulating that organ found between the bladder and the urethra that, if stimulated properly, can result in a very deep and intense sexual pleasure.
Butt plug or prostate massager?
The most common question is which is better than the other? There’s no anal sex toy more superior to the other. Both the butt plugs and prostate massagers are great for anal sex or anal stimulation. Now, as a beginner, you need to be aware of some of the most common differences and why people opt to choose either. I mostly believe it comes down to preference and taste. What do you like, and what are you most comfortable with. We'll get to tackle that later, but for now, we'll focus more on functionality.
If you're wondering what to pick at the store, the answer is simple. Plugs are best suited for female pleasure, while prostate massagers are suited for men. Now, all that is to do with the numerous nerve endings found in the anus. I'm not an expert in the female anatomy, but we can all agree that the anal plug is best suited for double penetrative sex. While the anal plug is stimulating the anus, there is more penetrative sex in the vagina. This double penetration can result in a very pleasurable experience.
As I mentioned earlier, the prostate massager stimulates the prostate organ, and this is the best sex toy for men. Studies have shown how much advantageous this is aside from just sexual pleasure. If you thought the massager was only for gay men, you're entirely wrong. More straight men are beginning to embrace the use of prostate stimulation as it excites the g-spot. Yes, men have a g-spot, too, and it's located right at the prostate glands!
The toy has to be curved to rest right on the prostate organ. Anything shaped otherwise may not be as stimulating as this L-shaped toy. The best thing about it is that couples can both use one of these during foreplay. I'd like to think foreplay goes both ways. Since many women only assume that stroking the penis is the only way to arouse a man, maybe you could try some prostate play and see how amazing that will end for both of you.
Also, for anal sex, the best toy to use before any penetration would be the anal plug. There are various types of plugs; some even vibrate as well. Stimulating the anal area before penetration will guarantee both partners enjoy the sex. It gives the muscles time to relax and creates enough room for penetration. Don't just jump right into it; it could be really painful and uncomfortable. That's why the butt plugs are highly recommended.
Where to start
As a beginner, I know porn has taught many people how to 'take it all in' without considering how much you can take in. sex is about finding your pleasure. At this stage, a large size should never be a huge factor when buying a sex toy. With time you may choose to advance to the bigger guns, but for now, baby steps. I can promise you, they go a long way.
So, when purchasing a sex toy, you need to consider a few factors before proceeding with the purchase. The butt plug and the prostate massager may have the same end goal but use very different paths in getting there. Okay, maybe not so different, but all the same, they have several differences.
Where are you using the toy?
It's on a date night, and you both want to be naughty. So you decide you'll insert the plugs instead of the anal beads mainly because the plug can be remote controlled. If you didn't know, the anal plug is more silent than the prostate massager. This is because the massager has a running motor at the base of the toy, which happens to be in the external arm that rests on the perineum. If you're in a public place, you'd rather have the anal plug because it's less noisy and entirely undetectable compared to the massager, which can be uncomfortable walking around in and very noisy.
Speaking of which, which of the two are you most comfortable with? When it comes to anal sex, it can be very pleasurable only if you’re relaxed and comfortable. A large-sized anal toy for a novice will definitely be too much initially and may hurt you if you're not careful. When shopping for your plug or massager, try looking at the smaller options, such as the anal ball, which is also a massager. It's the perfect beginner anal sex toy because of its silicone material that makes it comfy and has a tapered tip making it super easy and comfortable to insert.
· The material used on the toy
The best material to go for is silicone. Anything silicone is excellent and very functional. You can never go wrong with that. Other top picks are borosilicate glass, also known as Pyrex, or even stainless steel. If you're willing to give it a try and explore the options you have, the glass or steel would be a good fit. However, silicone is quite comfortable for a beginner so go for that. You don't want to complicate anything on your first trial.
· Body safety
So this is one of the things most people don't really think to check prior to purchasing a sex toy. When it comes to anal plugs, there aren't really regulations limiting interested consumers from purchasing them. It's entirely up to you to find out what really works for you and what doesn't. Check how safe the materials are when it comes to inserting into your genitalia. Watch out for cheap toys which tend to leak dye. I can't stress how dangerous this can be when it comes close to any part of your genitals. I'm not necessarily saying expensive is always the best. Still, maybe in a good store, they would definitely recommend a good brand for you.
· Lube it!
Our anal cavities are not self-lubricating, and as unfortunate as that sounds, we have lube to save the day. Now, water-based lubes are the best for anal sex as they have the perfect lubrication needed to stimulate those nerve endings. As you’re purchasing the lubes, check if they’re compatible with your toy. It’s a safety precaution many people overlook when purchasing toys.
Watch out for a silicone-based lube. Sounds really tempting given the thickness consistency, which can last you for hours. But here's the thing about those particular types of lubes, silicone breaks down silicone. Yes! Ever heard of the phrase iron sharpens iron? You're likely to leave harmful silicone deposits in your genitalia, and I don't have to get into detail about how bad that can be for you. Opt for water-based lubricants. You can always reapply whenever.
· Are you traveling?
I know destination vacations can be very exciting as some of them, if not most, present an opportunity to explore the sexual parts of ourselves. Regardless of the excitement, you cannot forget how important it is to keep the noise down. Carry a massager that is barely loud; you can't hear it yourself. For this, I'd pick the wireless massager. Nothing says wireless like this beauty. Perfect for your couple's retreat and is very stealthy.
You can join your partner by using your own anal plug vibrator that comes with so many remarkable aspects, especially for beginners. If you're worried about the size, relax. It's shaped in a curved way, so you're sure it's easy to insert, and you'll get to have a pleasurable experience. It's built to keep all the noise to a bare minimum, so you have nothing to worry about in terms of sound.
So, How do you effectively get that orgasm?
Stimulation is different when it comes to butt plugs and prostate massagers. How you use them to get your orgasm will take time but it’s worth it. First thing’s first, you want to:
· Start small
Try inserting a finger and use the opportunity to get comfortable. There are several ways in which you can use your fingers to get accustomed to anal pleasure.
The vibrator move: This is when you move your fingers fast enough that your hand begins to feel like a vibrator and gives off vibrating sensations. Your wrist may get uncomfortable and begin to hurt because you’re not used to it so only increase the speed when you’re close to orgasming.
Gently applying pressure just like the doorbell: You can use this technique during penetration and switch it up as you apply the pressure. Different levels of pleasure are experienced at different points of pressure. Using your finger pad, hold and press against the anus for shorter or longer intervals while you discover what really works for you.
The circle motion: Use your finger to run circles around the prostate glands after penetration. Of course this technique can be done on any part of the anus so don’t limit yourself to the G-spot only.
The curly finger: Once you’ve lubricated your finger and inserted it into your anal cavity, curl your finger in the ‘come hither’ gesture. The motion is best repeated in speed and more deeper motions to build an orgasm.
As you build momentum, remember these techniques can also be incorporated when using a sex toy. If you have a partner, it’s best you do this exercise with them. Try finding ways in which either one of you is getting more and more comfortable with the finger insertion. Self-masturbation is excellent as you get to learn just how far you can go. Over time, you'll find yourself comfortably using the double ball anal plug, which is great for intermediate users.
A misconception from society is how kinky anal sex should be. You're a beginner. There's really no need to rush into anything. Allow yourself to build rhythm and flow as you slowly adjust to the sensations anal sex gives you. It'll take some time before you can switch anything up, so there's no need to hurt yourself while trying to fit into people's standards and expectations of how anal sex should be.
· Be open-minded!
Be willing and ready to try out new toys and positions. Experiment with new ideas. Sticking to one thing can be very boring and lead to boredom quickly. Anal sex is just like any other type of sexual encounter you may have had before. You need to keep trying out ideas and see what actually works for you and brings you pleasure the most. Keep trying despite the embarrassing poop here and there.
Anal sex might seem like a really big deal if this is your first time, and it is. Whether it's with your partner or by yourself, preparation is essential here. When it comes to using sex toys, opt for toys that really get you in that comfortable space. With time, you will get to learn how your body responds to some toys and how some sexual positions give you breathtaking orgasms. Good luck on your new journey!